She even gives head with a lisp.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
