i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
