Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Buhtt sex?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
