ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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