But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
