How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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