a search helicopter?!
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
