I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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