I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
