i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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