I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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