I want to have your abortion
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
