no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
