I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize
