I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The feeling are messing with the penis
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
