Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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