Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
