I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
