i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
