So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
