i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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