Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
