paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
