I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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