Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He has the fingertips of a God
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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