it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
