i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
