I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
