you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
