you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
