I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
