I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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