i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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