I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
We left an ass print on the piano.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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