I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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