The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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