you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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