He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
