A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
