Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
it glows. i had to have it.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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