brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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