I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
