508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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