you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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