Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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