Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
if you like me you must not know who I am
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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