Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
