margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
