This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
