after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
