The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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