I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
