IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
