I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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