the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
