i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
