I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
