If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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